Most relationship experts would tell newly Divorced people to take some time for themselves, and steer clear of any sort of rebound romance right after their split.
In this site’s Roadmap Through a Divorce Over 50, we talk about three steps — Survive, Revive, and Thrive — with new romance being part of the Thrive phase. Though we also say there’s no set time frame for moving through the phases, and that not every step has to be done in a specific order, the feeling here is that a new relationship should probably come later in the process, after working on oneself (which is not to say a new romance is expected or necessary — there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not pursuing it again, and no one should feel pressured to do so).
Additionally, some people who jump into a new relationship right after their Divorce are drawn to what’s familiar, and end up making the same mistake twice. Many of us know someone who’s “remarried their ex,” figuratively speaking.
All that being said, this post from Therapist Terry Gaspar makes a strong argument that a rebound romance, if handled correctly, can actually be a good thing. She says the new relationship can provide solace, companionship, intimacy, and social stimulation. The downside is that this new relationship can postpone recovery by softening the emotional pain you need to go through to fully heal from the Divorce.
Gaspar lists six reasons why a rebound relationship may be right for you, including the way it can ease your transition into single life, and how it’ll help you figure out what type of partner compliments you. The key, however, is that both parties go into the relationship with clear boundaries, and open communication about their situation.
So, nobody’s saying jumping right into a new relationship is a great idea, but in certain cases, handled the right way, it may be a good thing in your recovery after a Divorce Over 50.
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