Going through a divorce means dividing up everything you acquired as a couple. The distribution of the financial assets is decided by mediation or court order; it can go easily, or be very difficult and painful. When it comes to dividing the friends, however, there is no controlling authority… and very often it’s filled with difficulty and pain.
There’s just no way around it: when you get divorced, some weird stuff is gonna happen with your friends. Some may side with you, some may choose your spouse, others may want nothing to do with either of you. Regardless, there’s an excellent chance your social life is going to take a hit.
This article from First Wives World suggests that your new found alone-time may actually be a good thing. And it argues that the friends’ reaction says more about them and their issues than it does about you and yours. As the name of the website suggests, the article is aimed at women, but there’s no reason men can’t benefit from checking it out as well.
To me, one of the hardest parts about being divorced is spending so much time alone. I know some people
love it; they don’t have to deal with anyone else, they can sit around in their underwear, they can unleash their bodily functions as the need strikes…
An easy solution, of course, is to get out of the house and do something. But a lot of people choose not to go by themselves, whether to a movie, a museum, out to eat, etc. They believe the activity won’t be as much fun if done solo, and also fear being seen by others as loners with few friends.
When a couple I knew got divorced, the wife basically told their friends, “It’s him or me. Make a choice.” Not surprisingly, as no one likes an ultimatum, most of the friends went with him.
Christine Gallagher, writing for Huffington Post, offers Seven Tips on How to Share Friends After a Divorce. Most require very open communication with your ex, and I’m not sure how likely that is. More below the jump…