Clearly, sex and intimacy are important parts of any relationship.
For Divorced Over 50’s who may be ready to explore new situations, these issues can unfortunately be a source of stress. Our bodies have changed from when we last dated. Age, illness, and surgery can affect both men and women, with women adding menopause to their list.
As a relationship moves forward, it’s important to have open, honest communication with your potential partner about what will, and won’t work for you.
This past August, I posted a piece entitled “Dating as a Teenager vs. Dating as an Over 50.” You can read it here on the site, or see what it looked like on Huffington Post. The article explored what men said, thought, and worried about way back in their teens compared to now in middle age. It offered no great insights; it was just written for fun…
In discussion with my mid-20s son Daniel, we came up with a twist on that premise: When it comes to dating and romance now, what differences would a single dad in his 50s encounter compared to his single son in his 20s? In other words, how might it go when a dad and his son sit down to openly compare notes about what’s happening with the women in their lives?
Again, just written for fun. And ladies, feel free to weigh in with some commentary between a single mom and her daughter. But here’s our look at a father/son back-and-forth:
Son: She thinks we’re exclusive, and wants me off Tinder.
Dad: She thinks we’re exclusive, and wants me off carbs.
The conventional wisdom says that when it comes to sex, men respond to visual stimulation, while women need an emotional connection.
Guys are shallow, they want it all the time — give ’em one flash of cleavage and boom, they’re ready to go! On the other hand, women are deeper; they insist on feeling connected, embraced, even loved before they can respond sexually.
You’ve heard stuff like that, right? The woman doesn’t want it, so it’s up to the man to seduce her.
Maybe you experienced that when dating back in your twenties. Perhaps it was even true during your marriage.
But how about now, as a Divorced Over 50? In our situation, does that old way of thinking hold up?
We recently highlighted a piece by Robin Korth about the difficulties she experiences in having sex as a postmenopausal woman in her sixties. Interestingly and admirably, she found the positive in her situation, discovering that it’s led to deeper, more honest relationships.
Erica Jagger (a pen name, and a good one…), who runs the A Sexy Woman of a Certain Age blog, wrote a piece concerning Korth’s article. Jagger was pleased to note she had not experienced any of the problems that Korth had — until she realized she hadn’t gone through menopause yet. Uh-oh.
The writer, Dr. Dorree Lynn, makes such a great point with Number One: Foreplay should start first thing in the morning and continue all day, as you express your affection for each other though words, caresses, and deeds. That paves the way for the trust and closeness that leads naturally to the intimacy. Other good ideas in the piece, too; check it out…
As if you needed more incentive, here are 9 reasons you should have more sex. Seriously, doctors and science-types contributed to this list. It’s totally legit. And look, it’s not only listed in our Dating, Romance, & Sex section, it’s even in the Health & Fitness section.