Would you like to help others who are going through a Divorce Over 50? How would you feel about offering assistance to folks weighing whether it’s better to get a DO50 or just stay in their less-than-ideal marriage? Or, might you just enjoy a chance to vent about what a rat your ex turned out to be?
Well, all of those opportunities, and more, are now available.
I’m looking to interview site users about their marriages, their divorces, and how they’ve moved on after their DO50. The good, the bad, the successes, and the failures. The goal is to produce an ebook detailing the experiences of a few dozen different people, told in their own words.
If you jump in, you’ll definitely be helping other DO50’s, as they’ll have a chance to compare their experiences with yours, and perhaps pick up some tips. And for the Di-Curious, the book could be of tremendous assistance; after all, what could be more helpful in deciding their best course action than the experiences of others in the same position?
The privacy of all participants will be fully protected, with no individually identifying information ever released. And everyone who does an interview will receive a free copy of the final book.
Many Over 50’s work out to keep their bodies healthy and looking good (or, at least as good as possible). Perhaps they run, cycle, take a class, use the machines at the gym, or a combination of those methods. For those who are time-challenged, alternatives exist like the scientific 7 Minute Workout we wrote about in June.
But when it comes to our faces, and trying to keep them as healthy, youthful, and attractive as possible, many Over 50’s just assume their only choice is to see a doctor. Even those who diligently work their below-the-neck muscles believe the only hope for their face is treatments, injections, or even plastic surgery.
But what if you could regain your youthful appearance by simply exercising your facial muscles instead of seeing a doctor? Would’t that be an easier, better, and much less expensive way to go?
During the course of a long-term marriage, couples naturally reach a comfort level concerning the most private aspects of their lives. In most cases, each becomes totally fine being nude around his or her spouse; one becomes intimately acquainted with the other’s sexuality; he or she has experienced the partner being ill, with all the sneezing, coughing, nose blowing, and vomiting that entails; and they’ve likely reached a point where engaging in most bathroom activities while together is no big deal.
But what happens when someone goes through a Divorce Over 50? What’s it like for that newly single person to begin dating, develop a relationship, and start from scratch with a new partner? After perhaps three or more decades enjoying total comfort in these areas, how can he or she navigate such potentially embarrassing issues?
I’ll go out on a limb here and suggest that for most men, when it comes to nudity and sex with a new woman, their excitement and desire will block out any hint of discomfort. They may wish some of their parts were bigger while others were smaller, or that there was less hair in certain areas and more definition in others, but those thoughts will be completely overwhelmed by the opportunity to roll around with someone new.
And though a percentage of women may feel insecure about their bodies as they head for bed with a new man, I’d suggest most will get through it just fine. Initially they may want lights turned off, or certain articles of clothing left on, but eventually that need will fade. (Side note from the male point-of-view: Ladies, we guys don’t care — we’re just happy to be there…)
So if it’s truly a good relationship, a high level of comfort regarding sex and nudity should be achieved easily and soon.
Some couples go through a Divorce Over 50 and are able to stay quite amicable. Occasionally you even hear about a couple that gets along beautifully after their Divorce, functioning better as friends than they did as spouses.
Others, however, want nothing to do with their ex once the Divorce is final, preferring to never set eyes upon him or her again. That might be possible if the couple never had children, but once kids are involved, the see-no-ex approach becomes almost impossible. Events such as a graduation, wedding, or the birth of a grandchild mean the formerly married partners will be thrown together, no matter how much one or both don’t want it.
And if one or both spouses still have anger, bitterness, or other negative feelings toward the other, it’s going to be an uncomfortable situation. The question becomes, will it be uncomfortable for just the parents, or will it affect the child as well?
Not surprisingly, the overwhelming winner for best was “freedom.” And the most common answer for worst was “loneliness.”
I wrote a piece for Huffington Post discussing the loneliness aspect, aimed at the Di-Curious. The premise is that loneliness can be attacked and overcome. And that a Di-Curious person, weighing his or her options, should not be scared off from Divorce due to that specific fear.
For the Divorced Over 50 community, that decision has already been made, whether by you, your ex-spouse, or mutual agreement. Because such a large percentage (including many who wanted the divorce or whose split was mutual) are facing loneliness, it’s important to discuss it on these pages as well.
Remember that book from back when we were so much younger, The Joy of Sex? Published in 1972, it seemed incredibly explicit for a mainstream book, which is probably why it spent 70 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List and has sold over 12 million copies. I’ll admit to looking through my parents’ copy, and I’m confident a whole bunch of you did the same.
A lot’s changed since those days, as significantly more explicit material (remember the book’s simple sketches of that very normal looking couple?) is just a click or two away. Much of the current stuff, however, is more about titillation (and another four-syllable word that ends with “…tion”) than instruction.