I recently did a series of interviews with Silke Schwarzkopf, the Executive Producer of 2ndAct.tv. Silke’s site contains a ton of videos that will be of tremendous interest to Divorced Over 50 users. I encourage you to explore 2ndAct.tv, and benefit from the important content you’ll find there.
In the videos offered here, we discuss such topics as the genesis of DivorcedOver50.com, how common Divorce is among our age group, and some of the warning signs that a DO50 may be coming up.
Would you like to help others who are going through a Divorce Over 50? How would you feel about offering assistance to folks weighing whether it’s better to get a DO50 or just stay in their less-than-ideal marriage? Or, might you just enjoy a chance to vent about what a rat your ex turned out to be?
Well, all of those opportunities, and more, are now available.
I’m looking to interview site users about their marriages, their divorces, and how they’ve moved on after their DO50. The good, the bad, the successes, and the failures. The goal is to produce an ebook detailing the experiences of a few dozen different people, told in their own words.
If you jump in, you’ll definitely be helping other DO50’s, as they’ll have a chance to compare their experiences with yours, and perhaps pick up some tips. And for the Di-Curious, the book could be of tremendous assistance; after all, what could be more helpful in deciding their best course action than the experiences of others in the same position?
The privacy of all participants will be fully protected, with no individually identifying information ever released. And everyone who does an interview will receive a free copy of the final book.
As parents, we all want to set good examples for our children. If, for instance, they see us treating everyone we encounter with respect, chances are good they’ll do the same. Personally, I’m always gratified when one of my sons orders by asking the waiter if he can “please have the filet mignon,” and then thanks him when it arrives (perhaps not as happy when the bill comes, but whatever…).
I’m sure all of us had hoped to model marriage-lasts-a-lifetime-behavior for our kids, too, but as we know, life doesn’t always work out as we expected. In my case, their mom and I went through a basically mutual, fairly amicable split after 27 years; though it was nice to show them how to have a civilized divorce, that still wasn’t the ideal.
There was, however, a positive to be gained from the negative. I believe going through my divorce gave me insight into why the marriage was what it was, and went where it went. I’ve come to more clearly comprehend the thoughts and choices I made, and the assumptions I held, concerning getting married. And I discovered that some of them were, shall we say, less than correct.
Going through a Divorce can be one of the most difficult experiences in life.
Even if you wanted your Divorce Over 50, it’s still a painful process, complete with anxiety, upset, and anger. And if you didn’t want it, it can be absolutely devastating.
But, as we say here all the time, a Divorce Over 50 may not be ideal, but it does give you a chance to hit the reset button, get back to being who you want to be, and move forward into a brighter future. And we’ve outlined three stages of a DO50 — Survive, Revive, then Thrive — and produced our free Roadmap to serve as a guide.
That’s the easy part; the hard part is actually moving forward. You don’t just start feeling better about yourself and your situation — you need to take action to create that better future.
Many Over 50’s work out to keep their bodies healthy and looking good (or, at least as good as possible). Perhaps they run, cycle, take a class, use the machines at the gym, or a combination of those methods. For those who are time-challenged, alternatives exist like the scientific 7 Minute Workout we wrote about in June.
But when it comes to our faces, and trying to keep them as healthy, youthful, and attractive as possible, many Over 50’s just assume their only choice is to see a doctor. Even those who diligently work their below-the-neck muscles believe the only hope for their face is treatments, injections, or even plastic surgery.
But what if you could regain your youthful appearance by simply exercising your facial muscles instead of seeing a doctor? Would’t that be an easier, better, and much less expensive way to go?
During the course of a long-term marriage, couples naturally reach a comfort level concerning the most private aspects of their lives. In most cases, each becomes totally fine being nude around his or her spouse; one becomes intimately acquainted with the other’s sexuality; he or she has experienced the partner being ill, with all the sneezing, coughing, nose blowing, and vomiting that entails; and they’ve likely reached a point where engaging in most bathroom activities while together is no big deal.
But what happens when someone goes through a Divorce Over 50? What’s it like for that newly single person to begin dating, develop a relationship, and start from scratch with a new partner? After perhaps three or more decades enjoying total comfort in these areas, how can he or she navigate such potentially embarrassing issues?
I’ll go out on a limb here and suggest that for most men, when it comes to nudity and sex with a new woman, their excitement and desire will block out any hint of discomfort. They may wish some of their parts were bigger while others were smaller, or that there was less hair in certain areas and more definition in others, but those thoughts will be completely overwhelmed by the opportunity to roll around with someone new.
And though a percentage of women may feel insecure about their bodies as they head for bed with a new man, I’d suggest most will get through it just fine. Initially they may want lights turned off, or certain articles of clothing left on, but eventually that need will fade. (Side note from the male point-of-view: Ladies, we guys don’t care — we’re just happy to be there…)
So if it’s truly a good relationship, a high level of comfort regarding sex and nudity should be achieved easily and soon.