Most Divorced Over 50’s report that their sex life during marriage, particularly toward the end of it, was extremely lacking. In fact, several of the interviewees for Gray Divorce Stories acknowledged going years without having any sex as their marriages fell apart.
Then, when DO50’s are first out of their marriage, the focus is just trying to keep their head above water while battling through the Survive Phase — sex may be among the furthest things from their minds. As life gets better, however, and they move into Revive, an interest in sex may come back. The problem, though, is that many people aren’t ready to get into a committed relationship that will lead to sex. So what to do?
How about casual sex? Casual sex is, of course, a personal choice. You’re an adult, and can decide for yourself if you’re comfortable with it. If you are, DivorcedMoms.com offers “How to Have Casual Sex With ‘Mr. Right NOW’ Without Getting Hurt.” Though the piece is obviously aimed at women, there’s no reason men can’t benefit from it as well.
Here’s a rundown on some of the tips it offers:
- Pick Your Partner Wisely. Avoid someone who’s vulnerable, and may be hoping for more. Stay away from a total stranger you’ve found on the internet. A former boy or girlfriend may make sense, as long as the breakup wasn’t too bad and neither of you is looking to get back together.
- Don’t Spend Too Much Time Together. Make it all about the sex. If you spend other time together, an emotional attachment may develop, making it harder to go your separate ways.
- Use Protection. You may not be the only one he or she is having casual sex with. You’ve got to be careful.
- Be Clear About Expectations. You both need to be on the same page about what’s going on. Even if it sounds “businesslike,” you need to discuss exactly what this is, and isn’t.
Casual sex is not for everyone. But it can provide some physical comfort during a difficult period in your life, and may be worth considering once you feel the time is right.