The overriding goal of Divorced Over 50 is to help everyone move through his or her Divorce and into a brighter future. In order to do that, it’s vital to accept that the Divorce has happened, and use it as a pathway to self discovery, which in turn will lead to that better life.
In this article for movingpastdivorce.com, Rosalind Sedacca suggests four important steps we can take after our Divorces that will help propel us into that brighter future. They are:
- Boost Your Self Esteem: It’s certainly easy to be down on yourself after a Divorce, especially if it wasn’t your decision. But pushing yourself to adopt a positive attitude about yourself, and your future, can help make it happen. Be pro-active, seeking out new friends and engaging in new activities. Explore sides of yourself that may have gone dormant during your marriage. Rediscover who you are, or hit the reset button and become who you want to be.
- Use Divorce as a Lesson in Self-awareness: Ask yourself what you might have done differently. What role did you play in the Divorce? You can’t change what happened, but you can learn from the experience so you’ll do better next time.
- Forgive Yourself and Your Ex: Blaming yourself or your ex only holds you back; it keeps you from moving forward. If you were wronged, you don’t have to forget what your ex did, but forgiving means you won’t be hurt by those actions anymore.
- Re-explore Your Expectations About Healthy Relationships: Is it obvious now that you married the wrong person, or for the wrong reason? Is it clear now that your expectations about marriage were way off? With the knowledge you’ve gained, you can do so much better if you decide to find a new partner for the next chapter of your life.
The points Rosalind makes are not just theoretical; anyone who’s read our book, Gray Divorce Stories, will see that the DO50’s who’ve come through best, and found their brighter future faster, put these concepts into action. They recognized the mistakes they’d made and learned from them; they rediscovered who they really were; and they took a positive attitude forward.
Which is the way all of us can deal with our Divorces Over 50.