Think Positive to Fight Divorce Shame

Did you feel shame about getting Divorced?

Did you blame yourself and/or your ex, wallowing in negativity that builds upon itself, feeling depressed, angry, and resentful?

Or, did you accept that you may have made some bad choices, but you’re a good person, who will move forward with a  positive mindset? 

Over 50 and Radiant

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Jackie Pilossoph is a newspaper columnist and creator of the Divorced Girl Smiling Blog. We’ve linked to her in the past (So Why Did You Get Divorced?), and are happy to do it again with this piece from the Chicago Tribune, “Women Over 50 Have Radiance in Abundance.” 

The heart of her column concerns a letter she got from a 53 year old man whose 23 year marriage had ended in 2010. It’s basically a rave about women who are of a similar age. The writer says the women know what they want in a relationship. They’re dedicated to making the next part of their life amazing. They’re alive, and revel in the freedom of being single. And he suggests these women just get out and enjoy life, as their natural radiance will be more than enough to attract a real man.

Jackie, who gets countless emails from women Over 50 who say how hard it is to meet men, says she felt like doing cartwheels. More importantly, along with Judy Freedman of “A Boomer’s Life After 50, she goes on to elaborate on why being a woman over 50 can be so fabulous. Among the points they make:

  • Wisdom: You’ve learned from your personal and professional experiences. You can look back on what you’ve done, and ahead to what you haven’t.
  • Confidence: You’re comfortable with your inner self. You have a healthy self-esteem. That allows you to be vulnerable; by showing your true self to someone else, you can develop a deeper, more meaningful relationship.
  • Independence: If you like being by yourself, then you’re fine whether there’s a partner in your life or not.

This is very much in line with the Thrive Stage we talk about in our Roadmap Through a Divorce Over 50.

The Right Way to Say “I’m Sorry”

Remember that old catchphrase from the seventies, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”?

Whether it’s true or not, Divorce very often means you, or your ex, really should be saying you’re sorry. But just uttering those words is not enough. To really do its job, the apology needs to be offered correctly. So what’s the proper etiquette for saying you’re sorry?

Valentine’s Day When You’re Divorced Over 50

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Valentine’s Day is upon us. How does that make you feel?

For many Divorced Over 50’s, particularly those at the very start of their process, February 14th can be a painful time. It can seem quite strange to be alone on a day that’s all about being part of a loving couple. Although, for those who endured a long, difficult marriage and are happy to be out, their first single V.D. can be a relief, as they no longer have to pretend there’s something to celebrate.

Super Foods for Over 50’s

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In working your way through your Divorce Over 50, there will almost certainly be times when you’re unhappy, stressed, and feeling low. And that’s why a meal like the one pictured above can be exactly what you need.

But, because you know it’s vitally important to maintain your health as you move toward your brighter future, you recognize that a Triple-Triple and fries should be a real rarity. And that for the vast majority of meals you need to eat smart.

To help you make good choices, AARP has helpfully provided a slide show featuring 15 Super Foods for Over 50’s.

Sure, it contains some of the boring basics you’d expect — kale, oatmeal, asparagus. But those are offset by treats like dark chocolate, coffee, and blueberries.

So check it out. And if someone knows what quinoa is and how to eat it, please leave that info in the comments section.

How To Become a “Superager”

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If you’re still looking for a New Years resolution that will pay off big time, how about becoming a “Superager”?

So what’s a Superager? It’s someone of an advanced age who’s still got a mind like a person many decades younger. And though that’s a worthy goal regardless of marital status, Divorced Over 50’s have even more motivation, as we’ve got that brighter future coming, and want to fully enjoy it (Right?).

There’s a catch, though: It takes hard work, and you’ve got to push yourself through some pain.

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Good Health

Obviously good health is important for everyone, whether Divorced or not, whether Over 50 or not. So Divorced Over 50 is always looking for valuable articles regarding staying healthy, whether they be general (Maintaining Good Health is Important… and Easy), or quite specific (Can Yoga Help in Your Divorce Over 50?).

To really increase the flow of information you’re receiving on this topic, may we suggest you visit (and hopefully become a regular reader of) the Positive Health Wellness website?

The site is extremely comprehensive, with pages covering Diet & Nutrition, Recipes, Fitness, Beauty & Aging, and Pain Relief. It also offers a ton of Infographics. Because the site is aimed at basically everyone, you will have to search a bit for content that applies to your specific needs and interests. Just looking at its front page as of this writing, DO50 readers will have no need for a piece about Nutrition for Breastfeeding Moms, but may be interested in Workouts You Can Do Without Weights.

And when you find an article of interest, you’re going to get more facts and details than you could have imagined. Let’s say you’ve heard a lot of talk about the benefits of coconut oil, and want to get more information. Well, a quick search on Positive Health Wellness will turn up a number of pieces, including this Ultimate Guide to Coconut Oil, which clocks in at over 4000 words, plus multiple infographics. (Spoiler alert: That stuff is good for you).

So take a look at Positive Health Wellness, and make sure to bookmark it. The site could be a really valuable resource to you now, and for many years to come (if you follow its recommendations…).

Maintaining Good Health is Important… and Easy

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No matter what stage of your Divorce Over 50 you’re in, maintaining your health is important. We all know that, of course — but some of us are too lazy, or have other priorities, or are so confused over conflicting advice that we give up and do nothing.

This slide show from WebMD offers some really, really simple advice for maintaining, or even improving, your health Over 50.

The piece covers all the important categories, including nutrition, physical exercise, and mental sharpness.

Here are some of the basic points; check out the article for the full details

Nutrition: Choose healthy fats, cut sodium, and take in the right kinds of fruits, vegetables, and dairy.

Physical Exercise: Build strength, improve your balance, and keep your joints healthy.

Mental Sharpness: Fill an empty nest, keep learning, stay social, have a lot of sex.

And perhaps the most important tip in the whole piece: It’s never too late to start taking care of your health. Even if it’s poor, even if you’ve never done much about it before, changing your habits now can still make a big difference in your life going forward.

Offer Forgiveness — It’s the Best Thing For YOU

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Forgiveness is one of the most important steps a person can take in working through the Three Stages of his or her Divorce. Whether it’s forgiving a spouse who wronged you, forgiving yourself for the role you played in the Divorce, or a combination, it’s only to your benefit. Holding on to anger and pain only hurts you, and can affect your future relationships.

As we know, however, it’s easier said than done. And especially if you were the victim of a betrayal, it can be very difficult to reach that point of letting it go.