If you’ve spent any time at all looking over this site, you’re well aware of our philosophy regarding a Divorce Over 50:
“It wasn’t the plan, and it isn’t ideal, but my Divorce Over 50 let me hit the reset button, be the person I want to be, and now I’ve moved forward into a bright, exciting future.”
Of course, there’s no requirement to make changes after your Divorce. Maybe you’re perfectly happy with who you are, what you do, and how you live. As they say, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
But many Divorced Over 50’s will want to make some changes. Which brings up an obvious, but no less important, question: How do you go about reinventing yourself?
Web MD offers a piece entitled “After Divorce: 8 Tips for Reinventing Yourself.” It’s a nice supplement to (and overlaps a fair amount with) our Roadmap Through a Divorce Over 50. Here’s a rundown on those tips — read the full article for more detail and links to additional information.
- Let yourself mourn — make room for your feelings of loss, but try not to dwell on them.
- Work through those feelings — don’t suppress them; find a group or a professional to talk them out.
- Learn to like yourself — the fact your marriage ended doesn’t make you a failure. Believe in your own worth.
- Rediscover who you used to be — no more compromising for the sake of your spouse; get back to being you.
- Discover a new side of yourself — you’re only answering to yourself now; don’t go crazy, but try something new, something outside your comfort zone.
- Dare to be alone — don’t feel a rush to couple back up; embrace the chance to just be by yourself.
- Consider transitional relationships — when you’re ready to date, try new “types.” You’re keeping it casual, so expand your horizons and see what happens.
- Embrace new roles — you’ll be taking over the aspects of life your spouse used to handle; see it as a chance to learn and grow.
Reinventing yourself, or just getting back to being the you you want to be, is a huge part of the Revive Stage you experience in coming through a Divorce Over 50. There’s no rush, there’s no timetable, and it can continue to be a lifelong process. But once you’re able to take those first steps, you’ll be positioning yourself to move forward into Thrive, and coming ever closer to that brighter future that awaits.
