Back when you were in your twenties, if someone had told you your sex life would be just as good, or maybe even better, in your fifties, would you have believed them?
Probably not. But for many Over 50’s, that’s actually the case.
And what about our subset, Divorced Over 50’s? I’ll go out on a limb and say a significant percentage of us are enjoying the best sex of our lives.
For one thing, we’re having sex with new people. And that always helps. Not just because of the added excitement of being with someone new. It’s also because the relationship is fresh, and there are none of the built up issues and resentments that happen so often in a marriage — even the good ones…
Also, as Over 50’s, the old “rules” and “morals” we grew up with are gone. We just don’t care about that crap anymore.
We’re also at a point of just being honest with our partners, being able to say what we like, and what we want. This enhanced communication can create a positive feedback loop, as the more you talk about sex, the more it’s front of mind, leading to it being more prevalent in the relationship.
I made that point as one of the interviewees for a Huffington Post piece on Spicing Up Your Sex Life Over 50.
So open, honest, communication is definitely a key factor in making your sex Over 50 the best ever.
(Speaking of Huffington, they ran an entire section on Sex Over 50. While it wasn’t necessarily aimed at Divorced folks, there’s plenty of useful information in there, and may be worth bookmarking for future reference).
Writing in Your Tango, Monica Magnetti proudly proclaims “There’s no doubt about it. Sex after 50 rocks!” (Right on!!) She conducted interviews with a number of real Over 50’s, coming up with nine reasons why sex can be better now. They include:
- You know yourself better, and have more self confidence, equipping you to live in the moment and better embrace sex and intimacy.
- Our life circumstances Over 50 allow much more spontaneity.
- There’s no other agenda, like getting pregnant or locking up a relationship — the sex can just be sex.
- Being older allows you to be more spiritual; you can surrender yourself to your partner, and have more trust in him or her. Which leads to outstanding sex.
And to balance Monica’s piece that’s a bit “out there,” here’s a more straight-forward piece on Better Sex as You Age from Helpguide.org.
This piece covers the benefits of sex later in life (including increasing lifespan), and offers tips for better sex. It also includes several links to other articles on the topic, and may also be worth bookmarking for future reference.
As we always say at DO50, our Divorces weren’t the plan, but they do offer us some wonderful opportunities. And for many of us, that includes having the best sex of our lives.
