Embrace Your Divorce to Find Your Brighter Future

The overriding goal of Divorced Over 50 is to help everyone move through his or her Divorce and into a brighter future. In order to do that, it’s vital to accept that the Divorce has happened, and use it as a pathway to self discovery, which in turn will lead to that better life.

In this article for movingpastdivorce.com, Rosalind Sedacca suggests four important steps we can take after our Divorces that will help propel us into that brighter future. They are:

Boost Your Self Esteem: It’s certainly easy to be down on yourself after a Divorce, especially if it wasn’t your decision. But pushing yourself to adopt a positive attitude about yourself, and your future, can help make it happen. Be pro-active, seeking out new friends and engaging in new activities. Explore sides of yourself that may have gone dormant during your marriage. Rediscover who you are, or hit the reset button and become who you want to be.
Use Divorce as a Lesson in Self-awareness: Ask yourself what you might have done differently. What role did you play in the Divorce? You can’t change what happened, but you can learn from the experience so you’ll do better next time.
Forgive Yourself and Your Ex: Blaming yourself or your ex only holds you back; it keeps you from moving forward. If you were wronged, you don’t have to forget what your ex did, but forgiving means you won’t be hurt by those actions anymore.
Re-explore Your Expectations About Healthy Relationships: Is it obvious now that you married the wrong person, or for the wrong reason? Is it clear now that your expectations about marriage were way off? With the knowledge you’ve gained, you can do so much better if you decide to find a new partner for the next chapter of your life.

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Are your familiar with the “Eat This, Not That” website?

It’s perhaps best known for analyzing the nutritional value (or lack thereof) of the menu items at restaurant chains. For instance, thanks to them we know that the worst dish at Applebee’s is the New England Fish and Chips, with a whopping 1990 calories, 137 grams of fat, and 4540 mg of sodium. Instead, ET,NT recommends the Pepper Crusted Sirloin And Whole Grains, at just 380 calories, 13 grams of fat, and 1850 mg of sodium. Additionally, they provide dieting advice, recipes, workouts, and shopping tips; it’s a great site, packed with tons of valuable information.

And, they also offer several articles on the best, and worst, foods for your sex life.

If there’s any time in your life when self-care is called for, it’s when going through a Divorce. The process can be absolutely overwhelming, with all the turmoil, emotion, and tremendous levels of stress. So what do most people do to keep themselves well and ease the burdens they’re feeling?

Absolutely nothing.

Would you like the opportunity to ask over 30 relationship experts for their Top Tips on coping with a Divorce?

Well, I can’t offer you that, but luckily someone else did ask, and their answers are presented here in a well organized list.

by Barry Gold
Posted on
General

Did you feel shame about getting Divorced?

Did you blame yourself and/or your ex, wallowing in negativity that builds upon itself, feeling depressed, angry, and resentful?

Or, did you accept that you may have made some bad choices, but you’re a good person, who will move forward with a positive mindset?

Jackie Pilossoph is a newspaper columnist and creator of the Divorced Girl Smiling Blog. We’ve linked to her in the past (So Why Did You Get Divorced?), and are happy to do it again with this piece from the Chicago Tribune, “Women Over 50 Have Radiance in Abundance.”

The heart of her column concerns a letter she got from a 53 year old man whose 23 year marriage had ended in 2010. It’s basically a rave about women who are of a similar age. The writer says the women know what they want in a relationship. They’re dedicated to making the next part of their life amazing. They’re alive, and revel in the freedom of being single. And he suggests these women just get out and enjoy life, as their natural radiance will be more than enough to attract a real man.

Remember that old catchphrase from the seventies, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”?

Whether it’s true or not, Divorce very often means you, or your ex, really should be saying you’re sorry. But just uttering those words is not enough. To really do its job, the apology needs to be offered correctly. So what’s the proper etiquette for saying you’re sorry?

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Valentine’s Day is upon us. How does that make you feel?

For many Divorced Over 50’s, particularly those at the very start of their process, February 14th can be a painful time. It can seem quite strange to be alone on a day that’s all about being part of a loving couple. Although, for those who endured a long, difficult marriage and are happy to be out, their first single V.D. can be a relief, as they no longer have to pretend there’s something to celebrate.

In working your way through your Divorce Over 50, there will almost certainly be times when you’re unhappy, stressed, and feeling low. And that’s why a meal like the one pictured above can be exactly what you need.

But, because you know it’s vitally important to maintain your health as you move toward your brighter future, you recognize that a Triple-Triple and fries should be a real rarity. And that for the vast majority of meals you need to eat smart.

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If you’re still looking for a New Years resolution that will pay off big time, how about becoming a “Superager”?

So what’s a Superager? It’s someone of an advanced age who’s still got a mind like a person many decades younger. And though that’s a worthy goal regardless of marital status, Divorced Over 50’s have even more motivation, as we’ve got that brighter future coming, and want to fully enjoy it (Right?).

There’s a catch, though: It takes hard work, and you’ve got to push yourself through some pain.