Resolve to Get Organized — It’ll Help You Inside and Out

So, what New Year’s resolutions did you make this year? The usual, like lose weight? Or maybe go to the gym three times a week? Get more sleep?

What about getting organized? If it wasn’t already on your list, you might want to add it now — which is okay, because everyone knows the resolution grace period is in effect as long as people are still wishing you a happy new year.

Particularly for those of us who’ve going through some struggles (like a Divorce Over 50), removing the physical clutter in our lives can also help us accept change and move forward. In other words, straightening up what’s on the outside can help us fix the mental mess on the inside.

by Barry Gold
Posted on
General

divorced over 50, divorce, grief, grieve,

If you’ve just joined the ranks of the Divorced Over 50’s, or you’re in the process of doing so, chances are excellent you feel like crap. Whether you wanted the split or not, you’re hurting. A lot. A lot of the time.

It may seem hard to believe right now, but you will get through this. And at some point, eventually, you’re going to emerge a better, stronger, happier, more secure person.

But first you have to grieve.

When you finish reading a great book, closing it up for the final time, is your first thought, “Wow, what a failure”?

Or when you take the last bite of a meal, do you consider it a fiasco just because it ended? Or walk out of a party, thank the host for a great time, and then immediately think, “That was some disaster”?

Of course not. You viewed those experiences for what they were — a period of time you spent doing something that eventually came to an end. You may have loved it, or hated it, or something in between, but it certainly wasn’t a failure.

So why is that when a marriage ends, it’s seen by society, and often the formerly married parties, as a failure?

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

change your story, divorce, divorced over 50

We got divorced. That’s a fact.

But there’s also a story of our divorces. It’s what we tell ourselves about it.

So the question arises: Can we change that story, and in so doing change how we feel about it?

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

Your marriage is on the rocks, and you’re overwhelmed. Your life wasn’t easy before, and now it’s close to unbearable. You’re arguing with your spouse, you’re talking to attorneys, you’re worried about your kids, you’re concerned about your finances. You are wrung out, completely drained.

And another major issue is looming: you’re going to be moving out. You’re going to have to find a place, set it up, and run it – something you may not have done for years, or decades, or ever.

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

Going through a Divorce Over 50 isn’t ideal. And it isn’t easy. There’s pain, and sadness, and loneliness.

But, eventually, things improve, and you find you’re able to embrace your situation and move forward toward a brighter, happier future.

So, what steps can you take to get through the darkness and into the light as quickly as possible?

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

As we all know all too well, there is plenty of pain associated with going through a divorce. And when you’re hurting, it’s only natural to blame someone else. The obvious target, of course, is your ex-spouse.

But the anger is justified, right? He or she may have betrayed you, or mistreated you, or just fallen out of love with you. And you have every right to be furious at what that bitch or bastard did to you.

There’s just one little problem: your ex could not care less. And your anger is only hurting yourself.

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

You know the old saying, “That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”? Well, since we’ve all survived our Divorces Over 50, has that process made us stronger? Are we tougher, more resilient, better able to cope with the vicissitudes of life we’ll face going forward?

We recently highlighted a piece by Robin Korth about the difficulties she experiences in having sex as a postmenopausal woman in her sixties. Interestingly and admirably, she found the positive in her situation, discovering that it’s led to deeper, more honest relationships.

Erica Jagger (a pen name, and a good one…), who runs the A Sexy Woman of a Certain Age blog, wrote a piece concerning Korth’s article. Jagger was pleased to note she had not experienced any of the problems that Korth had — until she realized she hadn’t gone through menopause yet. Uh-oh.

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

When we were kids, it seemed like there was a shame about getting Divorced. Those going through it felt like failures, and were the objects of sympathy or pity. If the neighbors’ split was discussed at your family dinner table, it was in hushed, sad tones (though your parents probably gossiped about it giddily when they were alone).

Today, Divorce has become so common — particularly in our Over 50 demographic — we almost greet the news with a “So what else is new?” attitude. But is it possible for divorcing people to not only avoid feeling shame, but to actually celebrate their divorce?