The Over 50 Step-by-Step Guide to Online Dating

Last month, I wrote a piece on the differences between what men worried about when they were dating in their teens (“Will she laugh at my peach fuzz?”) compared to their concerns when dating Over 50 (“Will she laugh at my back hair?”). You can read the other 24 here.

When it comes to overall changes in the world of dating between then and now, the very best improvement has to be online dating. Truly, it’s an historic innovation that ranks up there with the cotton gin, penicillin, and those lights in the parking garages that show you which spaces are empty.

Online dating just makes everything so simple.

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

change your story, divorce, divorced over 50

We got divorced. That’s a fact.

But there’s also a story of our divorces. It’s what we tell ourselves about it.

So the question arises: Can we change that story, and in so doing change how we feel about it?

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

Your marriage is on the rocks, and you’re overwhelmed. Your life wasn’t easy before, and now it’s close to unbearable. You’re arguing with your spouse, you’re talking to attorneys, you’re worried about your kids, you’re concerned about your finances. You are wrung out, completely drained.

And another major issue is looming: you’re going to be moving out. You’re going to have to find a place, set it up, and run it – something you may not have done for years, or decades, or ever.

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

Going through a Divorce Over 50 isn’t ideal. And it isn’t easy. There’s pain, and sadness, and loneliness.

But, eventually, things improve, and you find you’re able to embrace your situation and move forward toward a brighter, happier future.

So, what steps can you take to get through the darkness and into the light as quickly as possible?

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

Did you stay in your marriage longer than you wanted to in order to protect your children? Or are you currently staying in your marriage for that same reason?

You think you’re helping them, but are you really? Is it possible that a divorce can actually be the best thing for your kids?

Plenty of things about middle-age really suck. Waistlines expand, hair thins, skin sags. And then there’s all that stuff with the nether regions.

If you’re middle-aged and recently became single, issues like those not only affect how you see yourself, they can also impact your search for a new partner. There’s an understandable anxiety about the future, a lack of confidence in yourself, and a very natural inclination to grab on to someone, anyone, so as to not be alone.

This leads to the fairly common situation of a newly divorced person jumping right into another relationship, quite often with someone just like his or her former spouse. Chances are good you could point to a friend or family member who “remarried their ex.”

Rather than fear the effects of time and race to get ahead of them, I’d argue that single Boomers should slow down, embrace their circumstance, and appreciate the great gift that time has given them. A gift that, if used correctly, makes their search for a new partner so much more likely to be fruitful, and result in an excellent match.

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

As we all know all too well, there is plenty of pain associated with going through a divorce. And when you’re hurting, it’s only natural to blame someone else. The obvious target, of course, is your ex-spouse.

But the anger is justified, right? He or she may have betrayed you, or mistreated you, or just fallen out of love with you. And you have every right to be furious at what that bitch or bastard did to you.

There’s just one little problem: your ex could not care less. And your anger is only hurting yourself.

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

Does this sound like you?

You’re in your fifties, married around 25 years, with kids recently launched. Over the past few years, while those children were becoming more self-sufficient, you were able to shift attention back to your spouse. Which led to a realization: You are really not happy in your marriage. It has not gone the way you wanted. And the idea of spending thirty more years with your spouse is not one you relish.

But then again, if you do get divorced, there are no guarantees about the future. It’s a scary world out there. Dating again, at your age? With some body parts that don’t look, and others that don’t function, like they used to? What if you never find someone, and end up alone? Maybe you’re better off just staying with what you know rather than striking out into uncharted territory.

If you were a good boy or girl during your marriage and never cheated, going through a Divorce Over 50 means you’ll (hopefully, eventually) be having sex with someone new for the first time in a few decades. And, depending on how long and how acrimonious the break up of your marriage was, it may be the first time having sex with anyone in a year or more. Creating a situation not unlike losing your virginity all over again.

A lot has changed for us Over 50’s since we were teenagers. And some things have stayed very much the same.

In regard to dating, relationships, and sex, here’s a look at what men said, thought, and worried about back when they were teenagers, and what they say, think, and worry about now that they’re Over 50: