Everyone familiar with Kegel exercises?
As you likely know, doing Kegels helps maintain pelvic muscle fitness, which is good for bladder and bowel control, as well as sexual function.
But here are two things you may not know: (1) There is actually an organization called the National Association for Continence, and (2) said organization has determined that 40 percent of women are doing their Kegels incorrectly.
Whether you wanted your Divorce or not, whether you or your ex drove the process, you likely feel some guilt over the fact it happened. It wasn’t the plan. You feel you let down your kids, your family, your friends.
Guilt just is a part of the Divorce process. The question is, how are you going to deal with it?
Yes, we have been a bit heavy with the online dating posts lately. But this is peak dating season, as we’ve just started the New Year, and have Valentine’s Day just weeks away.
So, if you’re in the Thrive phase, and you’re doing online dating, the folks at Grammarly want you to know that good grammar does count. Check out their (not “there” and not “they’re”) handy infographic for more detail.
If you’ve spent any time at all looking over this site, you’re well aware of our philosophy regarding a Divorce Over 50:
“It wasn’t the plan, and it isn’t ideal, but my Divorce Over 50 let me hit the reset button, be the person I want to be, and now I’ve moved forward into a bright, exciting future.”
Of course, there’s no requirement to make changes after your Divorce. Maybe you’re perfectly happy with who you are, what you do, and how you live. As they say, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
But many Divorced Over 50’s will want to make some changes. Which brings up an obvious, but no less important, question: How do you go about reinventing yourself?
The conventional wisdom says that when it comes to sex, men respond to visual stimulation, while women need an emotional connection.
Guys are shallow, they want it all the time — give ’em one flash of cleavage and boom, they’re ready to go! On the other hand, women are deeper; they insist on feeling connected, embraced, even loved before they can respond sexually.
You’ve heard stuff like that, right? The woman doesn’t want it, so it’s up to the man to seduce her.
Maybe you experienced that when dating back in your twenties. Perhaps it was even true during your marriage.
But how about now, as a Divorced Over 50? In our situation, does that old way of thinking hold up?
Have any of you Divorced Over 50 women ever said something along the lines of, “There just aren’t any great guys out there for me to date”?
Or, if you haven’t actually said it, have you thought it? It seems like a pretty widespread sentiment — the kind of thing you hear a lot. The real problem, though, is that when a woman accepts that belief and throws in the towel, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Instead, what if she flipped the script and took control of the situation?
The point of this website, its reason for being, is to help as many people as possible move through their Divorce Over 50, eventually reaching the point where they can say:
“It wasn’t the plan, it isn’t ideal, but my Divorce Over 50 let me hit the reset button, be the person I want to be, and I’ve moved forward into a bright, exciting future.”
In order for that to happen, the DO50 needs to work through a three stage process:
Survive… Revive…Thrive.
If you’ve just joined the ranks of the Divorced Over 50’s, or you’re in the process of doing so, chances are excellent you feel like crap. Whether you wanted the split or not, you’re hurting. A lot. A lot of the time.
It may seem hard to believe right now, but you will get through this. And at some point, eventually, you’re going to emerge a better, stronger, happier, more secure person.
But first you have to grieve.
We all know the reality of Divorce Over 50, because we’ve lived it.
We know that you can reach a point in a long marriage where you say, “This is not the way I want to live.” Or you have to decide, “Do I really want thirty more years of this?” Or you muddled through while living parallel lives, but “when the money ran out [and you] had to face each other,” you chose to get out.
And now a lot of non-DO50’s are learning about it, too.
Here’s a shocker: Older women still have sex. No, really. I know, hard to believe, right?
Yep, there’s actual proof from a doctor at the University of Pittsburgh who conducted a study of 2100 women, ranging in age from 28 to 84. It turns out that not only are they continuing to have sex, they’re actually enjoying it!