Sex Tips, and Products, Available Here

Remember that book from back when we were so much younger, The Joy of Sex? Published in 1972, it seemed incredibly explicit for a mainstream book, which is probably why it spent 70 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List and has sold over 12 million copies. I’ll admit to looking through my parents’ copy, and I’m confident a whole bunch of you did the same.

A lot’s changed since those days, as significantly more explicit material (remember the book’s simple sketches of that very normal looking couple?) is just a click or two away. Much of the current stuff, however, is more about titillation (and another four-syllable word that ends with “…tion”) than instruction.

So where can you go to get some pointers on sex?

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

Back at the end of April, I offered Divorced Over 50 users a quick survey. It asked respondents their gender and how long they’ve been divorced, and then presented two open ended questions: “What are the BEST things about being a divorced person over 50,” and “What are the WORST things about being a divorced person over 50.”

I summarized the responses into an article which started running at Huffington Post on May 4th. The article was aimed at those who are Divorce Curious, or Di-Curious as we call them around here. And its point was to offer additional information to that Di-Curious man or woman, hopefully helping him or her better understand how life may go if they choose divorce, or one is forced on them.

For the users of this site who are already divorced, I thought you might be interested to compare your experiences to the survey results. And for you Di-Curious who missed the article on Huffington, here’s a look at what you may experience if it comes to a Divorce Over 50. (A quick note — the HP article offered readers a chance to take the survey, too, so many additional responses have come in and are reflected in what follows…)

Many Divorced Over 50’s have come to embrace the new world of online dating. Whether they use a general site like Match or eHarmony, or more specific site like Our Time or Mature Singles Click, it’s clear that online dating is popular among our demographic.

But what about using a dating app? You know, like Tinder? The ones that exist only on your smart phone, and involve swiping left or right on potential dates’ pictures.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that folks Over 50 are using them as well.

If you’ve thought about going that way, here’s an article comparing ten of those currently available. One is particularly intriguing for Divorced Over 50’s — it’s called Divorce Force, and offers articles on Divorce, Divorce news, and Divorce forums, plus more. But check out the full line up offered here. And if you try any of them out, and feel like reporting back, we’d love to hear about your experiences.

So what are your thoughts about yoga?

Kinda “hippy-dippy?” Something exotic, out there, and only practiced by much younger people?

The fact is that yoga can be of tremendous benefit to people Over 50, as it improves health, eases pain, and improves balance. And because yoga has also been shown to elevate mood, reduce stress, and make you happier, it sounds perfect for anyone going through, or recovering from, a Divorce Over 50.

I have believed, and written, that it’s best to be honest when putting together your online dating profile.

My thinking has been, if your primary online photo is ten years old, all you’re going to do is disappoint your date when you meet in person. Same thing if you’ve exaggerated or under-reported your height or weight. My belief has been that there’s no recovering from that initial deception.

But what if I’m wrong?

Which sounds more difficult to you?

Returning to work after a long absence, or resuming dating after not doing it for twenty-five years?

In a really nifty blog post, “Divorcierge” Karen Bigman takes the lessons she learned when returning to work after being a stay-at-home mom, and applies them to getting back into the dating game when her 25 year marriage ended.

Clearly, sex and intimacy are important parts of any relationship.

For Divorced Over 50’s who may be ready to explore new situations, these issues can unfortunately be a source of stress. Our bodies have changed from when we last dated. Age, illness, and surgery can affect both men and women, with women adding menopause to their list.

As a relationship moves forward, it’s important to have open, honest communication with your potential partner about what will, and won’t work for you.

If you’re typical of most Divorced Over 50’s, your ex-spouse was in your life for twenty years, thirty years, or maybe even more.

A chunk of those years may not have been particularly happy. You may have really wanted your Divorce, and are glad to be out. Still, you don’t just instantly “get over” your spouse, someone you once loved and who’s played such a large role in your life for multiple decades.

On the other side, there are plenty of DO50’s who wanted to stay in their marriage. They’re not happy about their Divorce, feeling left behind. For them, moving on from their ex can be more painful and difficult.

And then there are all of those situations in between the two extremes.

Getting over your ex is a vital part of the Revive Stage as you move through your Divorce Over 50.

But the question is, just how do you do that?

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

Do you feel like a failure because you got Divorced?

Many people do. But when you think about it, does that really make sense? Over 50% of the adult population will Divorce. Is it really fair to define a majority result as failure? Over half of Americans will get heart disease — are they all failures?

Still, the notion about Divorce persists in society, and adds even more to the pain of going through one.

Well, we may not be able to change society’s view, but we can change our own.

Did you stay in a bad marriage out of fear?

And was one of those fears a concern about being alone? Were you worried that you would never find love again?

Or, if you’re Di-Curious and still in your troubled marriage, is that one of the issues holding you back from getting out?

There’s no denying that that particular fear is real, and it’s scary. But we all have the power to overcome it by doing one thing: changing our attitude.