Dr Christiane Northrup, MD is a board certified OB/GYN and a past president of the American Holistic Medical Association. She’s also a New York Times bestselling author.
In an article for Vibrant Nation, she asserts that the reason women Over 50 experience a decreased libido is not because of menopause, but rather because they’re locked into an old way of thinking about, and having, sex.
I came across a really important, informative article about Divorce, but I’ve got a bit of a problem with it.
Let me explain.
The article is written by Dr. Karen Finn, for the website Your Tango. Its title is “24 Ridiculous Divorce Lies You Should Never EVER Believe.”
And it does contain lots of great advice for surviving and recovering from your Divorce. But my problem is, I don’t believe anyone would believe all 24 of the “Ridiculous Divorce Lies” that form the premise of her piece. In fact, I don’t believe that most people — no matter their marital status — would believe even half of them. And we Over 50’s, with our life experience and worldliness, would likely believe way fewer.
Seriously, at any point in your life would you have believed “All divorces are basically the same”? Or “Everyone going through a divorce goes through the same emotions in the same order”? Or how about “You should start dating right away”?
Many Over 50’s work out to keep their bodies healthy and looking good (or, at least as good as possible). Perhaps they run, cycle, take a class, use the machines at the gym, or a combination of those methods. For those who are time-challenged, alternatives exist like the scientific 7 Minute Workout we wrote about in June.
But when it comes to our faces, and trying to keep them as healthy, youthful, and attractive as possible, many Over 50’s just assume their only choice is to see a doctor. Even those who diligently work their below-the-neck muscles believe the only hope for their face is treatments, injections, or even plastic surgery.
But what if you could regain your youthful appearance by simply exercising your facial muscles instead of seeing a doctor? Would’t that be an easier, better, and much less expensive way to go?
So how did you learn about sex when you were a kid?
Did a parent take you aside for “The Talk”? Or was it an older sibling or friend who clued you in?
And then, how did you supplement your education? Perhaps some furtive reading of your parents’ copy of Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask, or The Joy of Sex?
Now, as an Over 50, it’s likely you think you know it all about the topic. But here’s the thing: Our bodies have changed, and there is new information we need to take in. Has your knowledge kept up?
Remember how we used to be part of the Pepsi Generation? We were young, energetic, adventurous.
Alas, now we’ve become the Ensure Generation. Chased with shots of Metamucil.
Right?
No! WRONG!!
We are older. Gravity, the sun, and life have changed how we look. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still be attractive. And nothing, repeat nothing, can change how we feel about ourselves. Except us.
Which creates a choice. Consider yourself over the hill and washed up. Or see yourself as still active, interesting, and vital.
I’m gonna go with the latter.
Many Divorced Over 50’s have come to embrace the new world of online dating. Whether they use a general site like Match or eHarmony, or more specific site like Our Time or Mature Singles Click, it’s clear that online dating is popular among our demographic.
But what about using a dating app? You know, like Tinder? The ones that exist only on your smart phone, and involve swiping left or right on potential dates’ pictures.
Anecdotal evidence suggests that folks Over 50 are using them as well.
If you’ve thought about going that way, here’s an article comparing ten of those currently available. One is particularly intriguing for Divorced Over 50’s — it’s called Divorce Force, and offers articles on Divorce, Divorce news, and Divorce forums, plus more. But check out the full line up offered here. And if you try any of them out, and feel like reporting back, we’d love to hear about your experiences.
I have believed, and written, that it’s best to be honest when putting together your online dating profile.
My thinking has been, if your primary online photo is ten years old, all you’re going to do is disappoint your date when you meet in person. Same thing if you’ve exaggerated or under-reported your height or weight. My belief has been that there’s no recovering from that initial deception.
But what if I’m wrong?
Clearly, sex and intimacy are important parts of any relationship.
For Divorced Over 50’s who may be ready to explore new situations, these issues can unfortunately be a source of stress. Our bodies have changed from when we last dated. Age, illness, and surgery can affect both men and women, with women adding menopause to their list.
As a relationship moves forward, it’s important to have open, honest communication with your potential partner about what will, and won’t work for you.
Everyone familiar with Kegel exercises?
As you likely know, doing Kegels helps maintain pelvic muscle fitness, which is good for bladder and bowel control, as well as sexual function.
But here are two things you may not know: (1) There is actually an organization called the National Association for Continence, and (2) said organization has determined that 40 percent of women are doing their Kegels incorrectly.
Back when you were in your twenties, if someone had told you your sex life would be just as good, or maybe even better, in your fifties, would you have believed them?
Probably not. But for many Over 50’s, that’s actually the case.
And what about our subset, Divorced Over 50’s? I’ll go out on a limb and say a significant percentage of us are enjoying the best sex of our lives.