Dealing With the Holiday Season

gray divorce, divorced over 50, holidays

So, did you come through the Thanksgiving Holiday okay?

If it’s your first one since your Divorce Over 50, it was probably rough. Even if it was your sixth, as it was for me, it still doesn’t feel quite right. My young adult children were in town, and this was my year to have them join my family’s Thanksgiving dinner. Which was great. But it’s still odd to be sharing them with my ex-wife, as they spent some nights at my place, and some at hers. It’s strange to hear about them going to a “Second Night of Thanksgiving” at her and her new husband’s house. And I missed being in a home on Thanksgiving Day when the meal was being cooked — I used to revel in the smells, the warmth, just the whole feel of that experience.

And now, the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/New Years Holidays loom.

Table For One

To me, one of the hardest parts about being divorced is spending so much time alone.  I know some people
love it; they don’t have to deal with anyone else, they can sit around in their underwear, they can unleash their bodily functions as the need strikes…

An easy solution, of course, is to get out of the house and do something.  But a lot of people choose not to go by themselves, whether to a movie, a museum, out to eat, etc. They believe the activity won’t be as much fun if done solo, and also fear being seen by others as loners with few friends.

What About the Friends?

When a couple I knew got divorced, the wife basically told their friends, “It’s him or me.  Make a choice.” Not surprisingly, as no one likes an ultimatum, most of the friends went with him.

Christine Gallagher, writing for Huffington Post, offers Seven Tips on How to Share Friends After a Divorce. Most require very open communication with your ex, and I’m not sure how likely that is.  More below the jump…