Embrace Your Divorce to Find Your Brighter Future

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The overriding goal of Divorced Over 50 is to help everyone move through his or her Divorce and into a brighter future. In order to do that, it’s vital to accept that the Divorce has happened, and use it as a pathway to self discovery, which in turn will lead to that better life.

In this article for movingpastdivorce.com, Rosalind Sedacca suggests four important steps we can take after our Divorces that will help propel us into that brighter future. They are:

  • Boost Your Self Esteem: It’s certainly easy to be down on yourself after a Divorce, especially if it wasn’t your decision. But pushing yourself to adopt a positive attitude about yourself, and your future, can help make it happen. Be pro-active, seeking out new friends and engaging in new activities. Explore sides of yourself that may have gone dormant during your marriage. Rediscover who you are, or hit the reset button and become who you want to be.
  • Use Divorce as a Lesson in Self-awareness: Ask yourself what you might have done differently. What role did you play in the Divorce? You can’t change what happened, but you can learn from the experience so you’ll do better next time.
  • Forgive Yourself and Your Ex: Blaming yourself or your ex only holds you back; it keeps you from moving forward. If you were wronged, you don’t have to forget what your ex did, but forgiving means you won’t be hurt by those actions anymore.
  • Re-explore Your Expectations About Healthy Relationships: Is it obvious now that you married the wrong person, or for the wrong reason? Is it clear now that your expectations about marriage were way off? With the knowledge you’ve gained, you can do so much better if you decide to find a new partner for the next chapter of your life.

The Right Way to Say “I’m Sorry”

Remember that old catchphrase from the seventies, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”?

Whether it’s true or not, Divorce very often means you, or your ex, really should be saying you’re sorry. But just uttering those words is not enough. To really do its job, the apology needs to be offered correctly. So what’s the proper etiquette for saying you’re sorry?

Offer Forgiveness — It’s the Best Thing For YOU

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Forgiveness is one of the most important steps a person can take in working through the Three Stages of his or her Divorce. Whether it’s forgiving a spouse who wronged you, forgiving yourself for the role you played in the Divorce, or a combination, it’s only to your benefit. Holding on to anger and pain only hurts you, and can affect your future relationships.

As we know, however, it’s easier said than done. And especially if you were the victim of a betrayal, it can be very difficult to reach that point of letting it go.

Forgive Your Ex — For Your Sake

As we all know all too well, there is plenty of pain associated with going through a divorce. And when you’re hurting, it’s only natural to blame someone else. The obvious target, of course, is your ex-spouse.

But the anger is justified, right? He or she may have betrayed you, or mistreated you, or just fallen out of love with you. And you have every right to be furious at what that bitch or bastard did to you.

There’s just one little problem:  your ex could not care less.  And your anger is only hurting yourself.