Don’t Let Divorce Ruin Your Finances

by Barry Gold
Posted on
Di-Curious

Many visitors to Divorced Over 50 are either Di-Curious, or in the very early stages of their Divorce. If that’s you, it means that final decisions about post-Divorce finances have not been made, so there’s still time to get it right.

And this article from US News and World Report should help you do just that.

The piece offers ten ways you can prevent a Divorce from ruining your finances. Some are obvious, some you’ve likely heard before. But it’s worth taking a look and keeping the suggestions in mind.

Great news, guys: At least one woman out there says she’d rather have sex with a man Over 50 than a 25 year old with a tight round butt, firm six pack, and rippling hard muscles.

No, seriously.

That woman, Katherine Ann Forsythe, is a sexuality educator with a specialty in intimacy and aging. And she backs up her assertion in a piece called “Why I’d Rather Sleep with a Man Over 50.”

As you’ll see in her article, she cites a number of reasons why we older guys make better lovers. These include the fact that we’re not in a hurry, we put our partner’s needs first, and we know that intercourse is not the only way to have great sex.

No matter what stage of your Divorce Over 50 you’re in, maintaining your health is important. We all know that, of course — but some of us are too lazy, or have other priorities, or are so confused over conflicting advice that we give up and do nothing.

This slide show from WebMD offers some really, really simple advice for maintaining, or even improving, your health Over 50.

The piece covers all the important categories, including nutrition, physical exercise, and mental sharpness.

Here are some of the basic points; check out the article for the full details.

Forgiveness is one of the most important steps a person can take in working through the Three Stages of his or her Divorce. Whether it’s forgiving a spouse who wronged you, forgiving yourself for the role you played in the Divorce, or a combination, it’s only to your benefit. Holding on to anger and pain only hurts you, and can affect your future relationships.

As we know, however, it’s easier said than done. And especially if you were the victim of a betrayal, it can be very difficult to reach that point of letting it go.

Dr Christiane Northrup, MD is a board certified OB/GYN and a past president of the American Holistic Medical Association. She’s also a New York Times bestselling author.

In an article for Vibrant Nation, she asserts that the reason women Over 50 experience a decreased libido is not because of menopause, but rather because they’re locked into an old way of thinking about, and having, sex.

Lots of things change when you go through a Divorce.

In addition to ending your relationship with your spouse, you may also lose connections with friends. You may have to move into a new house or apartment. And for a significant number of people, it means going back to work.

Traditionally, it’s the formerly stay-at-home-mom who has to rejoin the working world, but it can certainly happen to men, as well.

And for Over 50’s who need to return to work after decades out of the job market, the process can be daunting.

I came across a really important, informative article about Divorce, but I’ve got a bit of a problem with it.

Let me explain.

The article is written by Dr. Karen Finn, for the website Your Tango. Its title is “24 Ridiculous Divorce Lies You Should Never EVER Believe.”

And it does contain lots of great advice for surviving and recovering from your Divorce. But my problem is, I don’t believe anyone would believe all 24 of the “Ridiculous Divorce Lies” that form the premise of her piece. In fact, I don’t believe that most people — no matter their marital status — would believe even half of them. And we Over 50’s, with our life experience and worldliness, would likely believe way fewer.

Seriously, at any point in your life would you have believed “All divorces are basically the same”? Or “Everyone going through a divorce goes through the same emotions in the same order”? Or how about “You should start dating right away”?

The three stages of a Divorce Over 50 are (as you hopefully know by now) Survive… Revive… and Thrive.

It’s in the middle stage, Revive, where you get to completely focus on yourself. Your needs, your issues, your interests, your growth, whatever you want.

And one of the best choices you can make is to improve every aspect of your health.

divorced over 50, gray divorce, online dating

Are you doing online dating? Or might you in the future?

Whether now or later, you’ll obviously want to present the best “you” you possibly can.

But can building yourself up too much, even it’s all true and verifiable, actually make you less attractive, resulting in fewer contacts from potential dates?

divorced over 50, gray divorce, pre-marital

As parents, we all want to set good examples for our children. If, for instance, they see us treating everyone we encounter with respect, chances are good they’ll do the same. Personally, I’m always gratified when one of my sons orders by asking the waiter if he can “please have the filet mignon,” and then thanks him when it arrives (perhaps not as happy when the bill comes, but whatever…).

I’m sure all of us had hoped to model marriage-lasts-a-lifetime-behavior for our kids, too, but as we know, life doesn’t always work out as we expected. In my case, their mom and I went through a basically mutual, fairly amicable split after 27 years; though it was nice to show them how to have a civilized divorce, that still wasn’t the ideal.

There was, however, a positive to be gained from the negative. I believe going through my divorce gave me insight into why the marriage was what it was, and went where it went. I’ve come to more clearly comprehend the thoughts and choices I made, and the assumptions I held, concerning getting married. And I discovered that some of them were, shall we say, less than correct.