If you’ve just joined the ranks of the Divorced Over 50’s, or you’re in the process of doing so, chances are excellent you feel like crap. Whether you wanted the split or not, you’re hurting. A lot. A lot of the time.
It may seem hard to believe right now, but you will get through this. And at some point, eventually, you’re going to emerge a better, stronger, happier, more secure person.
But first you have to grieve.
That’s right. Grieve. Because you’ve suffered a huge loss. A death, in fact. The death of your relationship. Even if you were miserable in your marriage, you are still suffering from the loss of companionship, multiple forms of support, and the hopes and dreams you held for the future.
As this article from HealthGuide.org explains, grief is a natural reaction to loss. And though it may be scary, allowing yourself to feel that pain is essential to the healing process. In fact, the pain is what helps you let go of the old relationship and move forward.
Some suggestions for making your way through the grieving process include:
- Don’t fight your feelings — you’ll have all types of conflicting emotions, but trying to suppress them will only prolong the process.
- Talk about your feelings — knowing others are aware of your pain makes you feel less alone, and helps you heal.
- Moving on is the end goal — don’t dwell on negative feelings like blame and anger as they’ll slow down your progress.
- Remember you still have a future — one vision of it may have ended, but another will take its place.
- You should start to feel a little bit better, day by day — if that’s not the case, it may be depression, and you need to seek professional help.
Support from others is critical at a time like this. Many people seek help through individual therapy, a coach, a clinic, or a support group. And of course family and friends can be a wonderful resource, too, as long as they’re there to listen, not tell you what they think you should be doing.
And this site, DivorcedOver50.com, is here for you, too. Our philosophy is, No matter how you ended up Divorced Over 50, you have the opportunity to hit the reset button, get back to being who you want to be, and move forward into a brighter future. We aggregate and create content on all aspects of being Divorced Over 50 — please check it out.