Getting Over Your Ex

If you’re typical of most Divorced Over 50’s, your ex-spouse was in your life for twenty years, thirty years, or maybe even more.

A chunk of those years may not have been particularly happy. You may have really wanted your Divorce, and are glad to be out. Still, you don’t just instantly “get over” your spouse, someone you once loved and who’s played such a large role in your life for multiple decades.

On the other side, there are plenty of DO50’s who wanted to stay in their marriage. They’re not happy about their Divorce, feeling left behind. For them, moving on from their ex can be more painful and difficult.

And then there are all of those situations in between the two extremes.

Getting over your ex is a vital part of the Revive Stage as you move through your Divorce Over 50.

But the question is, just how do you do that?

Here are some articles offering suggestions:

Tips to Get Over Your Ex-Husband is obviously aimed at women, but some of writer Jennifer Horton’s ideas can work for men, too. Check out the article for full details, but some of her concepts include:

  • Stop checking up on your ex.
  • Accept that you can still love your ex, but that your relationship has run its course.
  • Lose the items that remind you of your ex, and pick up some new stuff.
  • Write the story of your relationship, gather some shared items, and burn them all.

Letting Your Marriage Go is aimed more at the spouse who got left behind. Some of its suggestions include:

  • Grieve your loss, and recognize it’s not a straight line to recovery.
  • Stop trying to hurt your ex – that’s keeping you locked into the old relationship.
  • Give up responsibility for your ex, as you can’t control his or her actions.
  • Set some goals as far as your recovery.

And this article concludes with one of the points stressed here at DO50: Take advantage of the opportunity to reinvent yourself.

Obviously there’s no right or wrong way to handle something like getting over a spouse. And what works for one person won’t for someone else. The hope here is to just offer a variety of thoughts and concepts to consider as you deal with this difficult process.