Divorce Disinformation – Do Not Believe These Myths

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I came across a really important, informative article about Divorce, but I’ve got a bit of a problem with it.

Let me explain.

The article is written by Dr. Karen Finn, for the website Your Tango. Its title is “24 Ridiculous Divorce Lies You Should Never EVER Believe.”

And it does contain lots of great advice for surviving and recovering from your Divorce. But my problem is, I don’t believe anyone would believe all 24 of the “Ridiculous Divorce Lies” that form the premise of her piece. In fact, I don’t believe that most people — no matter their marital status — would believe even half of them. And we Over 50’s, with our life experience and worldliness, would likely believe way fewer.

Seriously, at any point in your life would you have believed “All divorces are basically the same”? Or “Everyone going through a divorce goes through the same emotions in the same order”? Or how about “You should start dating right away”?

Change Your Mindset To Speed Divorce Recovery

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Going through a Divorce can be one of the most difficult experiences in life.

Even if you wanted your Divorce Over 50, it’s still a painful process, complete with anxiety, upset, and anger. And if you didn’t want it, it can be absolutely devastating.

But, as we say here all the time, a Divorce Over 50 may not be ideal, but it does give you a chance to hit the reset button, get back to being who you want to be, and move forward into a brighter future.  And we’ve outlined three stages of a DO50 — Survive, Revive, then Thrive — and produced our free Roadmap to serve as a guide.

That’s the easy part; the hard part is actually moving forward. You don’t just start feeling better about yourself and your situation — you need to take action to create that better future.

Check Your Over 50 Sex IQ

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So how did you learn about sex when you were a kid?

Did a parent take you aside for “The Talk”? Or was it an older sibling or friend who clued you in?

And then, how did you supplement your education? Perhaps some furtive reading of your parents’ copy of Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask, or The Joy of Sex?

Now, as an Over 50, it’s likely you think you know it all about the topic. But here’s the thing: Our bodies have changed, and there is new information we need to take in. Has your knowledge kept up?

5 Ways to Continue Feeling Young

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Remember how we used to be part of the Pepsi Generation? We were young, energetic, adventurous.

Alas, now we’ve become the Ensure Generation. Chased with shots of Metamucil.

Right?

No! WRONG!!

We are older. Gravity, the sun, and life have changed how we look. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still be attractive. And nothing, repeat nothing, can change how we feel about ourselves. Except us.

Which creates a choice. Consider yourself over the hill and washed up. Or see yourself as still active, interesting, and vital.

I’m gonna go with the latter.

Why You Married the Wrong Person

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The New York Times recently published an article by novelist-philosopher Alain de Botton entitled “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person.”

Many Divorced Over 50’s will see that title and think, “That’s not something I will do, it’s something I did do.”

So why bother reading his piece and trying to make sense of it?

Because his arguments should make most of us feel pretty damn good (or at least better) about being Divorced Over 50.

Ready to Try a Dating App?

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Many Divorced Over 50’s have come to embrace the new world of online dating. Whether they use a general site like Match or eHarmony, or more specific site like Our Time or Mature Singles Click, it’s clear that online dating is popular among our demographic.

But what about using a dating app? You know, like Tinder? The ones that exist only on your smart phone, and involve swiping left or right on potential dates’ pictures.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that folks Over 50 are using them as well.

If you’ve thought about going that way, here’s an article comparing ten of those currently available. One is particularly intriguing for Divorced Over 50’s — it’s called Divorce Force, and offers articles on Divorce, Divorce news, and Divorce forums, plus more. But check out the full line up offered here. And if you try any of them out, and feel like reporting back, we’d love to hear about your experiences.

To Shave, or Not to Shave… That is the Question

Okay, we’re all adults here, right?  So let’s speak frankly: Many Divorced Over 50 types went two or three decades with just one sexual partner, their spouse. (or, if they had other partners, perhaps that’s why they are now Divorced Over 50…).   And in that time, certain styles, and trends, and norms have changed. Which, as we older folks begin new relationships that include intimacy, can cause some anxiety.  As in, so what the hell am I supposed to do with my pubic hair?  

Men Speaking Truthfully… No, Really

Wanted to mix it up with a video about dating Over 50.  And frankly, most of what’s out there is very amateurish, people just talking into the camera, not making a whole lot of sense, losing track of where they are in their list of points, even getting interrupted by barking dogs.

This video from 2ndAct.tv is a very well done, professional piece. It features a few men talking with an interviewer about what they’re looking for, and a group of women discussing their experiences with a (male) therapist.  It’s worth the six minutes or so to take a look (and you won’t need your reading glasses!).

Table For One

To me, one of the hardest parts about being divorced is spending so much time alone.  I know some people
love it; they don’t have to deal with anyone else, they can sit around in their underwear, they can unleash their bodily functions as the need strikes…

An easy solution, of course, is to get out of the house and do something.  But a lot of people choose not to go by themselves, whether to a movie, a museum, out to eat, etc. They believe the activity won’t be as much fun if done solo, and also fear being seen by others as loners with few friends.